Tears at breakfast... Lizzie died 6 yrs. ago today:((

I saw a package of seeds (for green beans) laying on the table this morning at breakfast, as I sipped my coffee. All of the sudden, my mind went back several years (maybe 2003?) to a time when my younger sister Elizabeth (Liz or Lizzie) was sick for weeks, and trying-- as a single mom of five young children-- to care for them while being ill. I worked full-time as a music teacher, but when I found out her dilemna, I made a home-made beef stew, snapping some beans from our own little garden, to add to the other vegetables.



I also made no-bake cookies (Liz & her kids' favorite) and took the goodies over to her house-- feeling AWFUL that she'd been so cavelier about her condition-- suffering silently, as she did much of the time-- that I didn't even know she was sick for the first two weeks. (We only lived about 10 miles apart.)


When I arrived and took the food in, Liz said with grateful, teary eyes, "That's the most 'Christian' thing anyone's ever done for me." I felt even WORSE, that apparently no one else had reached out to this single mom, none one seemed to know... But, as her SISTER, I certainly felt badly that I didn't visit her more, spend more time, etc. And, it wasn't home-made lasagna with garlic bread or even chicken fajitas... it was just a one-pot hamburger stew. Just a small step up from sandwiches, I figured. Only with home-grown green beans. :))  Hindsight...

In the middle of this 5-second flash-back sparked by the package of green bean seeds on the table, my eyes darted to the calendar on the wall... JUNE 3rd. I fell apart with sobs like I haven't had in years (well, months...)

Six years ago today Elizabeth dove into a raging river to save the life of her 9-year-old son James, who'd lost his balance in the current as he waded in to catch minnows and crawdads, while his mom and siblings were fishing. Liz was only 35 years old, home-schooled her children, to raise them as Christians, and (ironically) protect them from "the evils of th world", including from things that had happened to her as a little girl--- thus her "over-protective" nature. (She suffered some things that would make it difficult to trust anyone...)

We can't number our days... only GOD does that. No river, no disease, no terrorist or drunk driver. We MUST trust His Sovereignty... what are our choices? Live in fear everyday, or bitterness and resentment and cynicism most of the time? Or will we be comforted in God's presence, and encourage others to trust Him even when it hurts?

Lizzie knew and loved Jesus, and I have NO doubt where she is. Our dad has since joined her, just in September of 2009. She is also with the babies that she miscarried-- 3 more children to add to the five here, who are still on "this side of eternity".

Will I still cry, until Jesus comes??? OF COURSE. But my grief, OUR grief as believers, is not without hope...

Until then, thanks for your prayers. I will grieve, or rejoice, with YOU, too, my brothers and sisters.

Becky

P.S: If you haven't heard the song that Lizzie wrote (on my "No Denying" album- listen at Indie Heaven) called "Where the Lamb WIll Be the Light"-- I invite you to. She wrote it at the age of 19, and we used to sing it together. Prophetic...