Jeffery turned 10 on Monday, just two days shy of our first six months together as an "adoptive family". We were already a "blended family" with seven children, the oldest five grown and out of the house, and only our two "babies" (which we thought would be our last!) left at home. This adoption of 9-year-old Jeffery and 2-year-old baby (half) sister Jaycie came as a surprise... but since Jeffery lmy cousin, we knew we couldn't let them go to strangers, nor separate them.
Jeffery has gone from failing grades (and a school system that thought it was "hopeless" and that Jeff should be retained... AGAIN), to now making A's and B's, and he DID promote to the 4th grade, after all! Since he's been with us, he's learned to do things that should have happened long ago (as happens with many children who've been abused and/or neglected), like tying his shoes, and even blowing his nose. His self-esteem (which was non-existent before) is slowly building, and he feels LOVED and SAFE. He and Jaycie seem to find great comfort in simple routines that my other children take for granted... like family dinner at the table every night, after school and bedtime snacks every day, church on Sundays, consistent bedtimes, and even household chores and responsibilities that they never had.
Jaycie has brought us SO much joy, as well! Last night, for example, she put on her daddy's shoes, picked up the basket of silk flowers from the coffee table and put them over her left arm, with her baby doll in the right, clomping across the living room! We laughed ourselves to joyful tears, as happens almost daily with her adorable antics and creative personality and imagination. We SO often say, "What did we do to deserve this joy!??" God has blessed us immeasureably!
The waiting period of having these (foster) children in our home before we can finalize is six months. We're still waiting on WV to talk to OK and send all the necessary paperwork so we can go to court and "make this offiicial". In our hearts, it IS official! Both children use their new names with pride, Jaycie having never known her birth (last) name, anyway. I'm making "life books" for both of them, to know where they came from, who has been a part of their lives at various times (birth family, original- and eventually amended- birth certificates, etc.), how they got here, and to help them deal with all the inevitable questions and issues that we're already facing. Why did my birth mom continue using drugs, instead of taking care of me? Didn't she love me enough? Will I ever see her again? Does she think about me? All the counseling and play therapy won't undo all the pain, but we are doing all we can to help our precious children. We pray that God will heal the innermost parts of their hearts and emotions, in ways that we cannot.
Is adoption a risk? You bet . So is marriage, so is having birth children, so is driving your car to the grocery store. Is it worth it? YOU BET. A million times over. I DARE you to consider it. There are 129,000 children in the USA alone who are in foster care AND in need of a permanent, loving "forever home". Could that be your home? Check my website for more information, adoption links, foster care information, GREAT books (which I'm reading and benefiting from myself), and more. http://www.beckywrightsongscom .
Becky Wright is a Singer/Songwriter and Speaker for Adoption & Foster Care events across the USA. Her newest album, "Heart of Adoption" is being recorded in Nashville, and the first two songs are OUT on several hundred radio stations. Hear or download music at: http://www.indieheaven.com/artists/becky_wright
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Becky Wright at "Blind School Bash" Concert, Muskogee, OK 2006
